Sin City finds new way to buff its reputation|
Inland Valley Daily Bulletin, CA
By John Weeks, Columnist
WHAT, Las Vegas wasn't already wicked enough?
Now, some of the big hotels are featuring nude swimming for guests.
Wow, talk about the Vegas Strip.
Sure, you've always been able to see naked people at Vegas resorts, but those naked people are show business professionals. They're good looking, and they're made up nice.
Now you can go to Vegas and see the vacationing Weight Watchers club from Des Moines, Iowa - naked.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but would you ever be able to get that image out of your head?
Mandalay Bay now offers "European-style" bathing at one of its pools, called Moorea Beach Club. It's only open to hotel guests, and men must pay a cover charge of $50. Women pay $10.
The Mirage recently opened a similar attraction called Bare, which consists of two "adults-only" pools. They are "more in the style of a dipping pool rather than a swimming pool," says Franz Kallao, vice president of hotel operations for the Mirage. "They are meant to just hang out in, and lounge in, and socialize in."
Hang out, indeed.
Here's my question: What happens if nude swimming pools in Vegas turn out to be a huge success? You know how Vegas tends to ...
overdo everything. If nude bathing catches on, all the resorts will start tripping over each other trying to think of new ways to exploit the concept.
There will be not only nude swimming pools, but nude tennis, nude golf and nude shuffleboard. There probably even will be nude gambling in designated casino areas. Where, exactly, are the card sharks going to hide their cards?
It won't just be the resorts. Pretty soon, the whole town will start ripping off its clothes. Imagine the stark possibilities.
You might go to a Las Vegas department store, for example, and discover that everyone is naked. I guess there might be advantages. You wouldn't need to ask for a dressing room to try on clothes. You could just do it right where you stood. Who would care?
And what about clothing-optional grocery stores? Can you imagine how cold the freezer aisle would be if you were walking around naked?
And I don't know if nude banks would be such a good idea. Don't you need pockets when you go to the bank?
I might try a nude library, once, but I probably wouldn't be able to concentrate on my reading.
To tell the truth, I think I would get tired of naked people after awhile. If I went to the movies and people were wearing nothing but their cell phones and their loud gum, I would be grateful when the lights went out.
And I swear, if I went to church in Las Vegas and the whole congregation was naked, I think I would just keep my eyes closed the whole time, whether anyone was praying or not.